i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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