i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So vagazzling was a success
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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