Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Randomize
