weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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