Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
