I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
