i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
