let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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