Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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