worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
