I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
