Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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