Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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