just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize