Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize