What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
