Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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