Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize