no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
