i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Someone shattered a urinal.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
