I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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