I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
