I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
