My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
