after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
