I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
