I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
3pm strippers are depressing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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