Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
