Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
ttyl tear gas
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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