You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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