don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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