Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't deserve a penis
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
