why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
