they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
