As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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