college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
only you would photoshop your dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
