I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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