He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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