This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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