you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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