im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
