4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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