you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
