My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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