I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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