Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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