Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
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