dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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