I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
