Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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