do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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