found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
