I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
