$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
