I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
