Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
