my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
