She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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