I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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