i may or may not be watching the land before time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
