She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
