So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize