so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
tell your sister to shave her snatch
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
